My post to a message board for Law Students

I sent this to a message board for law students. I used the name Dr. Science.


Dr. Science here!

Welcome to my Laboratoffice! Come on in...you know you want to. Friends, today is a big day for everybody's favorite Doctor/Scientist (Scientor). As many of you know I am a doctor and also a scientist. I specialize in experimenting on doctors, as well as curing scientists. I know many of you are law students of some sorts. This is why when I needed a favor I i thought I'd come right to you! You see, my lab rats have escaped. There were 20 of them in all, and each one was named Tony (though some only responded to "Suzy"). The Tonies seemed to have escaped while I was ironing their mini PJ's. You should have seen Tony #11 with his four pink booties! AW!!!!!!

Anyways, I dont feel like going out and tracking them down. Let them die I say. I live in a mansion on the Upper South Side and that's a waste of my time. Instead, I need you fine people to voulnteer to be my new research specimens. You will have to move into my mansion. The first morning, I buy you anything you want from the IHOP. After that you get locked into a metal cage in my basement for at least 10 weeks. I stop by occasionally to throw water on you and feed you used pancakes. Sometimes I just walk by your cage and poke you with a stick. Now and then I will use me "grabbin' glove."

When the time is right, I take you to my doctors office and perform a physical. The physical is co performed by Nurse Olivia. If you pass I bring you back to the basement, for an experiment where I see how long humans can live in cages for. At times you will have to live in your own excrement, but this should be nothing new. When anybody dies, they lose and forfeit their prizes to me. The winner gets the opportunity to move into a bigger cage and I write them a recommendation for their Law school and poke them with a stick.

This will be a great chance for you to learn about the law, while being tortured to excruciating lengths. I will need 300 people to sign up. The first 20 get a free Snickers. Until next time.....CASE CLOSED.

specimens wanted