Letter to Nick Jr.

I sent this letter off to the gang at Nick Jr.


Nick Jr
1515 Broadway
New York, NY 10036

Dear Nick Jr.,

I like the way you work it. Blue’s Clues is my favorite TV show. If I had to make a list of the 3 greatest TV shows of all time, it would be: 1) Cheers 2) St. Elsewhere 3) Blue’s Clues. Jake and The Fat Man runs a close #4.

I have been playing along with Blue’s Clues for almost 10 years now. I am GREAT. I kick ass at the “Which One is the Dog?” game. But alas…now that I am 33 the game doesn’t seem as challenging. I can tell which one of the 3 objects isn’t the apple in under 5 minutes.

To make the game more challenging, I recently invented Blue’s Clues: The Drinking Game, or Booze Clues as it is known around the office. It is MUCH harder to remember what Blue’s favorite color is after knocking back 7 or 8 Whiskies. Believe me.

The rules are as follows:
If the dog is on the screen, you drink.
If that guy is on the screen, you drink.
Every time the dog barks, booze it.
One of those stupid kids yells something? It’s Miller time.
If the kids solve Blue’s Clues at the end, then you smoke some joints.

The ultimate goal of this game is to get really wasted. I am aware that some little kids watch this show. I am assuming they are child prodigies or baby geniuses. I don’t want to be accused of age discrimination (again) so these kids can booze it up too, but they may want to wait until they are at least 11 when it is more socially acceptable.

Let me know if you want in on my game so we can make it and make me money.

Yours,
X

P.S. I also wrote a NEW theme song for Blue’s Clues. Not “all” new but I took the beat from the song “Footloose” and wrote all new lyrics. By “all new” I mean whenever they say “footloose” I changed it to “Blue’s Clues.” Try it….it works.