Letter to KFC

At some point in my life I wrote this letter to KFC. This was back in the day when KFC still stood for Kentucky Fried Chicken.


KFC
1441 Gardiner Lane
Louisville, KY
40213

Dear Mr. Sanders

ELEVEN. It's a powerful little number. How old was I when I first savored KFC? ELEVEN. How many different KFCs have I visited in my lifetime? ELEVEN. And what's the eleventh letter of the alphabet? You got it….K! As in KFC. Why is eleven such an amazingly KFC-tastic number? I think we all know the answer to this…the ELEVEN herbs and spices!!

I love KFC. I love it more than anything in this world. From the darkest darks to whitest whites and all shades of meat in between, KFC is without a doubt the BEST food ever made in a deep fryer! I eat at KFC at least 10 times a week. Each morning my sister and I arrive at your store at the stroke of ELEVEN to sink our teeth into a savory fresh biscuit. And on various evenings I treat the family to buckets of KFC, with a side order of love. Your restaurant has brought us all together and I mean that from the bottom of my heart. Until YESTERDAY.

I had just gotten finished with my volunteer work down at the nursing home when my friend Cherri and I pulled into your store located in beautiful Somers Point, New Jersey. It was late but judging by the clocks your store would be open for at least another 20 minutes! As soon as we walked in the man behind the counter said, "aw, come on ladies, get outa here. I'm trying to leave." He was being VERY rude. I said "oh are you closing soon?" and he gets snippy and says, " I am TRYING to." I countered this meanness with kindness and asked to just have it to go. He barks back "It don't matta' I still gotsta cook." Then he glared at us and I got frightened and we left. I called the next day and a woman slightly apologized, however I am still VERY angry with the way your Somers Point store is run.

I was a life long customer. Let me just tell you that that honor has been (chicken) stripped away from you. Who turns loyal customers away prior to closing?! That is shoddy management. I suggest you get to the bottom of this and learn how to hire competent people who know how to read a clock and don't intimidate their customers into leaving the store HUNGRY. I then had to eat at a Denny's that night for God's sake.

Your slogan claims "There is Fast Food…Then There's KFC!!!" Well to me fast food is better than NO food. What would the real colonel think of how you run this store? Surely he would be upset and sad that I was not allowed to savor his herbs.
As of this letter all of my family and friends will sever ALL ties to the KFC. We will NEVER eat at your so-called "family friendly" restaurants ever again until we are confident that we will be treated with RESPECT. I am outraged by your low store standards and I expect for you to write my family back very quickly to explain these unacceptable actions. Your entire chain should feel ashamed of yourselves. Goodbye…forever?

Regretfully,

ME