(Sent via E-mail)
Dear MIT Department of Mathematics,
My name is Spencer. My mentor, Dr. Leaky, pointed me in your direction in regards to one of my recent discoveries. (Discovery explained below!)
For centuries, attractive and popular mathematicians such as ourselves have been stuck dealing with the same stale slate of geometric shapes. You might just say we’ve been running in circles. Well, those days are over. You see, it took me 18 months and cost me my marriage, but last night at approximately 3:45am, my goal was accomplished. I INVENTED A NEW SHAPE.
Behold! The complex shape can be viewed by clicking HERE
As you can see, this shape is like nothing our industry has ever seen. I am fairly certain it is also the first shape that can breathe fire and attack other shapes (WHICH IT WILL DO). I am currently deciding between three names: “TriSquareatops,” “Rhombusaurus,” or “Tickle.”
Given its complex nature, I can already picture how fun it will be to watch toddlers try to stack TriSquareatops-shaped blocks. The task will certainly be impossible, but we won’t tell those little scamps that!
Let’s schedule a meeting so I can present this to your team and other curious parties. I’m already scheduled to meet with your science department on the 2nd of next month to discuss the recent groundbreaking correlation I discovered between gravity and parachute pants, E=MC Hammer. Let’s meet afterwards at the closest Baskin Robbins.
Looking forward to hearing from you,
- Spencer Pratt (CutiePieGuy71 at aol dot com)
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